Thursday, August 17, 2006

The Rebirth of Another Wall Street Wizard

John Dvorak has written a hilarious article for a South African site named Here are some excerpts:

"Elvis incorporated hidden investment messages in his song titles."

[Click on the image for a larger version. Thanks to]

"I don't want to bore you with the details but if you do enough math on the discography you get the following list of songs in the following order: 'Heartbreak Hotel,' 'Love Me Tender,' 'All Shook Up,' 'Don't,' 'Stuck on You,' 'Surrender,' 'It's Now or Never,' 'I Got Stung,' 'Flaming Star' and 'Return to Sender.' These songs clearly define and warn us, years in advance, about the dot-com bubble."

"And within the discography are clear messages not to get suckered into investing in 'Hound Dogs'. Although Hound Dog is not on the list, it instead plays a more specific role. I believe that the song was a warning not to invest in Also note that both 'All Shook Up' and 'Return to Sender' is clear reference to Webvan."

"Now if you dig deep enough into the analysis it gets even more predictive. The songs: 'Love me Tender,' 'Don't Be Cruel,' 'Wear My Ring Around Your Neck,' 'Hard-Headed Woman,' 'You're the Devil in Disguise,' 'I got Stung' (reprise), and 'Jail House Rock' foretell the Martha Stewart fiasco with chilling accuracy."

"But it just isn't the general predictive accuracy that is amazing with what I call the ESI - Elvis Stock Index. I'm hoping some math geniuses will develop an exact formula so the ESI can stand alongside the RSI, the ROC and the MFI. After all we've all made millions using those fine charting tools, no? Then again maybe we can skip the charts because many songs contain, in fact, exact stock picks. These to me are the most interesting.

"I will probably have to finance a research firm to ferret out all the tips, but I have a few here for you to consider. They indeed appear as buy and sell recommendations within song titles in the form of anagrams.

"Hound Dog, for example gives us two tips with two anagrams. The first is 'Odd Hog, NU.' This is a clear reference to Northeastern Utilities (NU) . Will it pig out over energy prices? Maybe.

"The second Hound Dog Tip is: 'Dud? Go HON!' And indeed Honeywell (HON) has skyrocketed since the death of Elvis. Amazing!

"In some instances Elvis was painting with a broad brush. This is the case with the message within the title, 'Stuck on You'. It says: 'Scout Yukon.' OK, I will.

"As you can see, none of this is to be taken lightly. The King lives!"

Go, John! I love a little humor with my RSS feed in the morning.


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